Asian Male/White Female (AMWF) Relationships in media
- jltoussaint
- Jan 8
- 4 min read
Updated: Jan 9
When you look at this image, what feelings does it conjure? If you know my book, or at least of the characters in it, you know that this is Gabriel and Rowen. Gabriel is East Asian, while Rowen is rather white. Now that you know they're not of the same race, does it make you feel uncomfortable? Like it's wrong, against the rules of society, or bad? When was the last time you saw an interracial couple of this kind in media?
Long before I wrote Hybrid, I knew Gabriel would be Japanese and Rowen would be Caucasian. Why? Because they just were. That was how I always envisioned them. Japanese culture plays a role in the story, so it made sense that Gabriel would be Japanese. And yeah, I am a white woman attracted to men of all races, including men of East Asian descent. As with any race and/or culture, there are millions of beautiful, masculine East Asian men, but living in America, we've been brainwashed into believing this isn't the case. Thanks for that, media.
Sure, there's "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" an unofficial biopic of Bruce and Linda Lee defying society with their relationship back in the 60's. And Jodie Foster and Chow Yun Fat in "Anna and the King,"
arguably the highest profile example of an AMWF relationship from the 1990's, and also controversial because of how it painted a shitty picture of the Thai monarchy. Then there's the upcoming movie "Love Me" starring Kristen Stewart and Steven Yeun. But between these movies
there have been too few, lower profile films and television series exemplifying that these relationships do indeed exist, highlighting a vastly underserved community with very little positive media representation. What's worse is the stigma associated with it based on how media constantly reinforces Asian stereotypes in Western culture, and for the purpose of this blog, specifically men of East Asian descent.
Other than the above movies and a few others, this dynamic was almost never seen in the media in the 90's or in my very white state of Vermont where I grew up. AMWF relationships always fascinated me because of their rarity. Not because it was taboo to me. I couldn't understand why they were so rare. When I got older, it was quite apparent. Interracial couples of any ethnicity or race were considered taboo or unsavory, or simply rubbed people the wrong way. And I knew it was bullshit and wrong on so many levels, but accepted it as a matter of fact. Lots of people are uncomfortable with these couples, which speaks to the way they were raised. Different = bad. But what I didn't realize, despite being vehemently against racism, was that I too had fallen victim to the emasculation of East Asian men in America.
Short, timid, super smart, excellent in math, and inadequate in the genital department. These are probably the most well-known stereotypes, and sadly, not the worst. But I don't want to dwell on the negative. What's important to understand is that racial stereotypes are not only racist, but incredibly damaging to societal progression and the psyches of those being victimized by them. The more they are reinforced, the harder it is for our culture to unlearn them. We must recognize and accept that we've been, and are consistently being lied to.
Exhibit A: Takeshi Kaneshiro. He served as the original inspiration for the physical representation of Gabriel's character when I first laid eyes on him back in 2004. Can you see the resemblance? Yeah. Thanks to my time working as a Customer Service Representative for Blockbuster Video back in the early aughts, I took home a rather interesting looking Japanese movie called "Returner." After basically crushing on this man harder than I like to admit being a woman in a committed, long-term relationship, I learned everything I could about him. He is not only Japanese, but he is half Chinese, specifically Taiwanese. The man speaks something like 5 languages. Come to find out, he's basically the Keanu Reeves of Eastern Asia. Brilliant, talented, massively famous, beautiful, humble, and 5'11". I knew Asian men could be tall, but I didn't realize this man existed. And don't get me started on the late Godfrey Gao, international supermodel and actor. May he rest in peace. Again, thanks a bunch, media.
I am no expert on this subject, but interracial couples in general suffer from this lack of positive representation and still have to deal with societal stigma where ever they go. And I don't expect my book to make huge waves, but I hope that it opens the eyes of many women, like me, who were brainwashed into believing that East Asian men are less masculine or less attractive. They are definitely not. And they will need help from all creators, willing and wanting to see this type of relationship be positively represented in film, television, and books. Thank the gods for the increasing popularity of K-dramas and K-pop with Gen Z for getting the ball rolling. Keep 'em coming, South Korea.
Here's hoping Gabriel & Rowen's love story serves as inspiration to all, and a way to help rewrite the outdated, tone deaf, racist narrative.
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